🌐 前言：美國職場，不只是英文問題
身為一個在美國電子製造業工作二十多年、在男性主導產業裡打滾的亞洲女性，我慢慢發現：美國職場真正難的，從來不只是英文單字，而是「聽懂別人沒有說出口的話」。
有時候，一句看起來很普通的問句，背後藏著身份歧視；一個看似開玩笑的評論，其實是一種權力展示；一個「只是關心」的問題，其實是在測試你能不能被踩、會不會乖乖聽話。
這篇文章想和你分享的，不只是教科書上的定義，而是我在美國職場多年，親身遇到的對話與感受，還有：身為新移民／少數族裔，你應該怎麼保護自己。 💪
💥 Bullying vs. Discrimination：感覺被欺負，跟法律上的「違法」有什麼差別？
先說一句很重要的話：
- 👂 心理層面：只要你覺得被針對、被羞辱、被孤立，那就是一種霸凌經驗，沒有人有資格說你「想太多」。
- ⚖️ 法律層面：要上升到「違法」，必須跟 受保護身分（protected class） 有關，並且有行為或語言可以當證據。
一般的職場霸凌（Bullying），可能是：
- 主管情緒化，動不動發脾氣 😠
- 同事愛挑毛病、在背後說你壞話
- 你被排擠、被排除在重要會議之外
這些行為在心理上都很傷人，但在法律上，不一定能構成違法的騷擾或歧視。
一旦「針對你」的理由，跟下列身分有關，就會開始碰到法律紅線：
- 你的種族或膚色（Asian, Black, White, Hispanic…）
- 你的國籍或出身地（Chinese, Taiwanese, Mexican, Indian…）
- 你的性別、性別認同、性傾向
- 你的年齡（特別是 40 歲以上）
- 你的宗教、懷孕狀態、身心障礙等
當霸凌是基於這些因素，就不只是「Bullying」，而是違法的 Harassment / Discrimination（歧視型騷擾）。
⚡ 當歧視來自你的主管：權力不對等，讓一句話變得更傷
在美國職場，Manager 說的每一句話，都自動帶有「權力」。他可以影響你的：
- 績效考核（performance review）
- 加薪、升遷、bonus
- 專案分配、工作內容，甚至未來職涯
因此，同一句話，如果是同事講，可能只是討人厭；但如果是你的主管講，就可能構成權力型騷擾（power-based harassment）。
我曾經遇過一位主管，在和我通電話的時候這樣說：
「I’m a Midwestern white, and you are a West Coast Asian woman.」
看似是一句描述身份的話，實際上卻同時踩到了：
- 種族（white vs. Asian）
- 性別（woman）
- 地區刻板印象（Midwest vs. West Coast）
這不是單純的小玩笑，而是一句建立「我在上，你在下」階層感的話。
在加州這樣的環境裡，這種話對 HR 和律師來說，都是非常敏感的紅字句。
🧠 老員工 vs. 新移民：為什麼有人聽得出來，有人聽不懂？
老實說，當我第一次聽到這些話時，我並沒有立刻覺得「我被歧視了」。
我反而想的是：
- 「他明明知道我們公司是亞洲／華人背景，為什麼要問這種問題？」
- 「他是在試探？在挖洞？還是想看我怎麼反應？」
但對很多剛來美國的新移民來說，情況完全不同：
- 他們可能以為這只是閒聊或場面話 😅
- 聽不出來語氣裡的 sarcasm（反諷）或 superior tone（優越感）
- 文化中習慣「老闆問什麼就回答」、「上級說什麼就照做」
結果就是：很多不該被接受的話，被當成「算了、沒關係、反正他是老闆」。
🚩 三個「看起來還好」但其實很有問題的職場暗語
以下這幾句話，很多新移民一開始都聽不出問題，但其實非常敏感：
1️⃣ 「What’s your nationality?」你是哪一國人？
在美國職場，詢問 nationality、ethnic background、原生國家，是高風險甚至違規的問題，尤其來自面試官、主管或客戶。
更何況對方明明知道你代表的是哪一間公司，卻還刻意問這些。
2️⃣ 「Do you feel it’s hard to sell Chinese products?」你覺得賣中國產品很困難嗎？
看起來像在聊工作，實際上卻把你的族裔（Asian）、你代表的公司背景、甚至國際政治通通混在一起。
這種問法暗示：
- 「因為你是亞洲人，所以你跟中國產品綁在一起。」
- 「中國產品有問題，你會不會也一起被懷疑？」
我當時的回答很簡單，也是我覺得最安全的：
「No, it’s only about price and quality.」
👉 把問題拉回到專業層面：價格與品質，不談政治，不談族裔。
3️⃣ 「I’m a Midwestern white, you’re a West Coast Asian woman.」
這種把「自己是白人」講出來、再對照你是「亞洲女人」的說法，本身就是一種權力展示與身份對比。
它不是單純的「自我介紹」，而是：
- 在提醒你：他是主流，你是少數。
- 在強調：他的位置比較高，你的位置比較弱。
🧱 「因為他是老闆，所以我是不是只能照做？」——權力型霸凌的陷阱
我常常想到銀行裡的一句經典台詞：
「I only followed my manager’s directive.」
（我只是照主管的指示行事。）
在很多新移民的文化裡，我們被教導：
- 老闆問什麼，就老實回答
- 主管叫你做什麼，就趕快去做
- 不要頂嘴，不要說不
但在美國職場裡，「主管叫你做」不等於「這件事就是對的／合法的」。
如果主管叫你做的是歧視性的決策、不當的拒絕客戶、或明顯踩紅線的行為，
你照做之後，未必能用「我只是照指示」來卸責。
對少數族裔與新移民而言，最難的地方在於：我們既想要好好工作，又不想被利用成「聽話的工具」。
💬 面對越線問題，你可以怎麼回答？（附英文示範）
以下是幾個「禮貌但有界線」的回覆句，給你參考：
- 🗣️ 當對方問你的國籍／出身地時：
I prefer to focus on my role and responsibilities here. I’m happy to talk about the project details. - 🗣️ 當對方把你和特定國家產品綁在一起時：
For this project, the main factors are price, quality and lead time. That’s what we are evaluating. - 🗣️ 當對話開始朝身份、族裔方向歪去時：
I’d like to bring the conversation back to the work itself. Here is what we can do on the technical and commercial side.
這些回應有幾個共同特色：
- 不跟對方吵，也不配合對方的偏見框架
- 把主題拉回專業（role, responsibility, project, price, quality）
- 同時向旁觀者（包括 HR）發出訊號：你是專業而冷靜的一方
🧾 什麼時候要開始留下紀錄？
如果你發現以下狀況出現不只一次，就可以開始紀錄了 📎：
- 主管或同事多次提到你的種族、國籍、性別，語氣怪怪的
- 你已經表達過不舒服，對方還是持續這樣
- 這些話開始影響到你的工作機會、專案分配、績效評價
可以紀錄的包括：
- 日期、時間、場景（Meeting / Call / Teams / Email）
- 大概原文或重點句子（越接近原文越好）
- 當時在場的人（witness）
🌈 小結：學會聽懂暗語，是為了保護自己，也保護後來的人
這篇不是要大家一聽到敏感字眼就去告人，而是希望你知道：
- 你有權利覺得不舒服。
- 你有權利不回答過度私人或歧視性的問題。
- 你有權利把話題拉回專業與工作本身。
如果你是剛來美國的新移民，或是正在考慮轉職、換產業，希望這篇「美國職場生存課」可以當成你的第一份小小保護傘 ☂️。
而如果你已經在職場待了很久，也許我們可以一起練習：不只是撐下去，而是站直身體，知道自己值得更好的對待。
🌐 Introduction: In the U.S. workplace, it’s not just about English
As an Asian woman who has worked for over twenty years in the U.S. electronics manufacturing industry, I’ve realized something important: the hardest part of surviving the American workplace is not vocabulary—it’s learning to hear what people are really saying without saying it.
Sometimes a “simple” question about your background carries hidden bias. A casual joke is actually a power play. A so-called friendly inquiry is really a test to see whether you will obey or stay silent.
In this article, I’m not just sharing textbook definitions. I’m sharing real conversations and emotions I’ve experienced—plus practical ways that immigrants and minorities can protect themselves in a power-imbalanced environment. 💪
💥 Bullying vs. Discrimination: Your feelings are real, but when is it illegal?
Let’s separate two different layers:
- 👂 Emotional level: If you feel targeted, humiliated, excluded or constantly under pressure, that is a bullying experience. No one gets to invalidate your feelings.
- ⚖️ Legal level: For behavior to become illegal harassment or discrimination, it must be connected to a protected characteristic and backed by some form of evidence.
General bullying might look like:
- A manager with a bad temper who frequently snaps at you 😠
- A coworker who constantly criticizes and gossips
- Being excluded from key meetings or projects
All of this can be emotionally damaging, but not every bad behavior is illegal.
It becomes discrimination or unlawful harassment when the behavior is tied to:
- Race or color
- National origin or where you’re “from”
- Sex, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity
- Age (especially 40+), religion
- Pregnancy, disability, and other protected categories
When bullying is based on any of these, it’s no longer “just bullying”—it may be unlawful harassment or discrimination.
⚡ When discrimination comes from your manager: Power changes everything
In the workplace, anything your manager says carries automatic power. They can influence:
- Your performance review
- Your raise, promotion and bonus
- Your project assignments and even your long-term career path
So the exact same sentence, if spoken by a coworker, might just be “annoying.”
But if spoken by your manager, it can become power-based harassment.
For example, I once had a manager say to me:
“I’m a Midwestern white, and you are a West Coast Asian woman.”
On the surface, it sounds like a simple description. In reality, it touches:
- Race (white vs. Asian)
- Gender (woman)
- Regional stereotypes (Midwest vs. West Coast)
It’s not just casual talk. It’s a statement of hierarchy: I’m the norm; you are the outsider.
In a place like California, this kind of remark is a huge red flag to HR and legal teams.
🧠 Senior employee vs. new immigrant: Why some people “hear it” and others don’t
To be honest, when I first heard comments like these, I didn’t immediately think, “I’m being discriminated against.”
My first reaction was more like:
- “Why is he asking this when he already knows the company background?”
- “Is he testing me? Is he trying to see how I react?”
But for many new immigrants, it’s much harder to notice what’s wrong:
- They assume it’s just small talk or ice-breaking 😅
- They don’t catch the sarcasm or superiority in the tone
- Their cultural background teaches them: “If the boss asks, you answer; if the boss tells you to do something, you do it.”
The result? Many problematic comments are quietly tolerated, simply because “he’s the manager.”
🚩 Three “small talk” questions that can actually be big red flags
1️⃣ “What’s your nationality?”
In a U.S. workplace, asking about nationality, ethnic background or where you’re “originally from” is a high-risk, often inappropriate question—especially when it comes from a manager, interviewer or major client.
2️⃣ “Do you feel it’s hard to sell Chinese products?”
This sounds like a question about work, but it mixes your ethnicity, your company’s origin and geopolitical bias all together.
It can imply:
- “Because you’re Asian, you’re tied to Chinese products.”
- “If there’s something negative about China, you might be part of the problem.”
My answer in that moment was simple—and also the safest:
“No, it’s only about price and quality.”
👉 It brings the focus back to professional factors—price, quality, lead time—not politics or identity.
3️⃣ “I’m a Midwestern white, you’re a West Coast Asian woman.”
This kind of sentence doesn’t just “describe” identity. It sets up a power contrast.
It sends a message:
- One of us is the mainstream, the default.
- The other is the minority, the one who doesn’t fully belong.
🧱 “He’s my manager, so do I have to answer or obey?”
I often think of a line I heard in a bank context:
“I only followed my manager’s directive.”
In many cultures, we are taught:
- When the boss asks, you answer.
- When the manager tells you to do something, you do it.
- Don’t say no. Don’t push back.
But in the U.S., “My manager told me to” is not always a defense.
If a manager asks you to do something discriminatory, unethical or clearly inappropriate, simply following orders can still put you in a risky position.
For immigrants and minorities, the challenge is: We want to keep our jobs and do well, but we also don’t want to be used as obedient tools.
💬 How to respond when a question crosses the line (with sample phrases)
Here are a few polite but firm responses you can use:
- 🗣️ When someone asks about your nationality/background:
I prefer to focus on my role and responsibilities here. I’m happy to talk about the project details. - 🗣️ When someone links you to a specific country’s products or politics:
For this project, the key factors are price, quality and lead time. That’s what we are evaluating. - 🗣️ When the conversation drifts into identity instead of work:
I’d like to bring the conversation back to the work itself. Here’s what we can do from a technical and commercial standpoint.
These responses:
- Don’t escalate into a fight
- Don’t cooperate with the biased framing
- Signal to any observers (including HR) that you are calm, professional and focused
🧾 When should you start keeping records?
You may want to start documenting incidents if:
- The person repeatedly brings up your race, nationality or gender in a strange way
- You have already expressed discomfort, but they continue
- These comments begin to affect your opportunities, evaluations or work environment
Documentation can include:
- Date, time and context (meeting, call, chat, email)
- Approximate wording or key phrases (as close to verbatim as possible)
- Who else was present (potential witnesses)
🌈 Conclusion: Learning the “unspoken language” is self-protection, not paranoia
This article is not about encouraging people to sue at every small comment. It’s about helping you:
- Recognize when your discomfort is valid.
- Know that you don’t have to answer inappropriate questions.
- Learn how to pull the conversation back to work and professionalism.
If you’re new to the U.S. workplace, I hope this “survival lesson” can be your small umbrella ☂️ in a sometimes unpredictable environment.
And if you’ve been here for many years, maybe it’s a gentle reminder: we’re not here just to survive quietly—we deserve respect, fairness and a voice.